Currently playing a game named "Class of '09" and I'm almost finished with it. So yeah, I got the inspiration to write this from that game. My tone would probably go in in line with the game cus I've been playing for awhile now. The tone might be nihilistic and negative abit.
Anyways, I'm not gonna waste time anymore, let's get into it. Highschool... mostly sucks ass tbh. 11th grade was probably enjoyable tho, But mostly, it's a sh*tshow, like is it possible? Highschool is like a small society for all to participate. Literally the bad, the good, the evil, all in one combo. People sucks massive ass too. Not to say like there aren't good people tho, but...I just got this feeling that I shouldn't hang around with some of those people, like just screaming "NO". There are some fun moments but after that it feels like sh*t cus it's value of being fun only last in that moment, then it expired, does it matter? Whatever. Probably not. I guess those fun moments have values if it actually means smth to u. Are people fake? Is any emotions real?
From almost a pedophile teacher to drugs, what the f*ck dude. Also, why are people equally sh*tty? From the kid tries to be tough and sh*t (he's kinda of a bully, but I don't really see it that way very much) to the the odd ones out (quiet kids and whatnot, one kid I found out was actually sh*tty, and might be has something wrong in his head from reading those manhwas or whatever, but I don't really know tho). And my "relationship" with that one girl too, but I'm not going into it (maybe next time). There's also this girl who is pretty and nice... but I feel bad vibes from her tho, we talked, and I know she flirted with me and stuff but like,... who tells another boy that she broke up with her bf and kinda giggles at that, like what? U inviting to date? No way... her relationship with the previous bf is kinda controlling ngl. If I said yes, she'd probably broke me honestly.
But can you blame most of them? Like everywhere I go...people suffer, their parents as well too. Like one guy have their parents not live together and he spends some time with them out far from the city, a guy who lost his mom, a group of kids where I think their parents are rich but don't care about them, abusive family..., a girl that argues with her mom constantly, drinks alot, and walked out the house sometimes, a girl whose father basically don't want to do anything with her and don't go to work but stay home all day and her mom in not mentally ok and the girl's relationship with her mom isn't good....amongst other people. I hope their situation gets better tho. I hope they're happy now .
Why does going to school feel dangerous? I felt that it was kind of fun and stuff but deep down I know it's kind of f*cked up. Other schools too. f*ck.
Now to most people I guess they'd feel like it's just a day to day struggle and that's normal and I get that, like it's just how it is. But looking back now,... damn, that's crazy. And this is schools from my country in Asia. I wonder how schools from other countries are like? Maybe all the schools in the world are some way alike to each other.
Maybe you'll have peace if you're by yourself, but I don't think that's entirely true. Why is it hard to trust anyone? Hm... That's why I don't give a sh*t if someday the friends and new friends I made might one day back stabbed me, or relationships just end bitterly. If things is good, then cool, but if things are bad, well, f*ck it, whatever.
Does this also explains the school shootings happening in the west too? Like some people with a messed up head combined with the mad world of going to school results to that? maybe....idk. It's just crazy.
I'm in college now, the first 3 weeks was a blast, the best 3 weeks of my life was spent in a 3 weeks military program (not like the real deal but like 1/10th of that), that's how I see it. It's even better than high school. Not saying I very deeply hate high school with my gut, it does sucks but I enjoy the 3 weeks more. After that tho, everything is just normal, not anything worse or better, kinda better? But mostly normal, and I'd take that.
Why did I even wrote this? I don't think it's really a big deal to think about the high school in the past. Like, does it matter? It shouldn't matter that much, especially the bad stuff. It's not like I'm venting or sad or angry or anything. I guess I'm just looking back and now that I think about it, maybe it's just what it is. So yeah, that's my normal school life, just a normal experience. And now it can f*ck off, I don't wanna waste my time thinking much about it.
Oh yeah, lonliness can go f*ck itself too, but I don't hate it that much tho...do I? Like it's not that serious to me... Ugh, whatever. Not gonna think about that,
So yeah, that's how I feel about it,
Maybe I'm just lonely.......but only if I let it make me feel that way.
